When the honeymoon is rich and full
And the planet stops revolving
When all your cares cease to be
What's left is fucking boring

Maybe it's those black thick-rimmed glasses
Or the blue hue from the hotel TV
But, you looked good tonight
Like deep, deep pockets, or sunshine

You know I'm not one for platitudes
And idioms exhaust me,
But I'm sick and tired
So, if a couple slip by me,
And you're keeping score
Well, then you can to remind me

That matching rhymes are lazy
But my meter is drifting and you'd rather just be at the beach
Yeah, that matching lines are lazy
But my meter is drifting and you'd rather just be at the beach

You’ve got those big, big, brown eyes
that need clear eyes for clearing up
and I’m all out of Visine
but if you want the blunts then I’ve got the stuff
You know how they say you can smoke yourself sober?
Well, I’ve been practicing for years,
I think we're getting closer

Like every burnout kid
Just killing time in Ipswich
Picking up bad habits
Like acid, sex, or arson
When they should have just gone to college
But the faculty forgot them
You can hear them in the bathroom
I swear to god, that place is haunted

I swear to god, you always do this
When’d you become so selfish?
You say you just don't trust him
That's there's just something about him
But, if you don't know him, then you don't know,
and you don't know you’re sorry
How could you possibly form an opinion of someone you only met once at a party?

But, if you can take up shields and spears
and longswords and bows
then I can brandish weapons, too
Your anxieties and woes
We'll get your big, big, big break
at this rate, something has to
and if you haven't figured it out, by now
I don't think that I want to tell you

But, I'll still be waiting
I'll still be waiting for you to come save me
Like I'm waiting for your kiss
Like I'm waiting to exist
But I'm somewhere like Wichita
And you're someplace somewhere in Hell
like you'll always be
I think I'm supposed to be waiting for someone else